Rain – Delving into the Past to Find an Old Poem

Alright, by request of deshipley, I’m posting up a poem I wrote based on a men’s cologne commercial, which I actually managed to find after an hour of searching so I could link it. Written back in 2008 – it may not be Shakespeare or Dickinson, but I liked it enough to keep it. This version is slightly edited, because I looked over it when I found it and saw some instant revisions I could make. It still needs work, but here it is.

— — — —

The sky fills up with gray

The world isn’t sad.

The sound falls around you

Falling to the ground with feeling

Pounding down to the dirt with anger

Enveloping it with love

Holding it while it cries

Running along it in excitement.

Are you alive?

Can you feel it?

The world moves around you.

You’re numb.

You’re splashing down my face.

The world never looked so bright.

I love the way it sings.

The world, draping itself upon me

A cloak of invincibility.

Are you alive?

Can you hear it?

The sound the Earth makes

When little lives crash into it.

You’re numb.

Standing high, above the people,

little ants of disarray.

You feel the thunder in you

As if your own excitement.

You see the lighting in the distance.

Unimportant roads to travel.

Through the sky?

I see them.

Are you alive?

I live for it.

The rush,

The caress,

The love,

It’s the rain.

— — — —

Right, so don’t be too harsh. This was an earlier work of mine, and I don’t claim to be a poet. Just things to remember – but I’m still in shock I managed to find the commercial it went with, so I’m rather pleased with myself. I’m not imagining any negative comments to the poem will take that away.

Ciao tutti!

RM

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2 responses to “Rain – Delving into the Past to Find an Old Poem

  1. Your poem, IMO, is way better than the commercial. But hey, the commercial obviously wasn’t worthless, because — ta-da — poem inspired!

    Lines I loved:
    “The world never looked so bright. / I love the way it sings.”
    “The sound the Earth makes / When little lives crash into it.”
    “Are you alive? / I live for it. [etc.]”

    It all had a sort of ecstatic urgency to it. The lines dropped like rain. You may as well claim to be at least a semi-poet; you’re not a train wreck. 😉

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